My baby shower is one week from today! It's a combined event with my side and Jamie's, and I have to admit that I'm guilty of peeking at my registries. I am already taken aback by how generous people have been. I've had to add stuff twice to Babies R Us; it had been whittled down both times to the expensive Britax carseats for when the babies are bigger, a four pack of hats, and gift cards. The Buy Buy Baby registry is also getting down to the wire- double stroller, matresses, and a bunch of smaller stuff.
All of that being said, since Jamie had to work OT yesterday it struck me that I should maybe make some order out of the baby things we already have. I sat on the floor for close to two hours and clipped oodles of tags and little plastic connectors off of jammies, onesies, hooded towels, washcloths, blankies, socks, hats, and bibs. Today we went to Sam's Club and bought 170 oz. of Dreft (for just over $24!!! I'm going to delete it from BBB's registry because they have 100 oz. for $22.) I washed my first load of baby clothes! =) They're drying now and the second load is going. Unlike all of the other laundry that needs to be caught up on, washing, drying, folding, and sorting baby things is a lot of fun (so far).
We are making progress inside the house, too. My goal has been to wash, dry, and put away two loads of laundry a day. In my meltdown post a few days ago I mentioned how backed up we were, and we've certainly made sizeable dent. There's still a lot to clean and organize around here, but in addition to everything I listed before, I'm now coming up with other things that seem really important- like condensing our two linen closets and giving the babies the smaller one for all of their towels, washcloths, extra wipes, back up soaps and lotions, etc. Maybe it's a bit of nesting? I realize in the big scheme of things, no one would notice an organized linen closet, but they would notice 8 piles of dirty clothes on the floor! I'm hopeful that betweentoday and part of tomorrow Jamie and I can get crackin' over here.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
28 week ultrasound
The bad news first is that my babies are getting too big to get pictures of anymore. The tech tried and tried, but they were both breach and it just wasn't happening. She said it best when she said "it looks like a doll factory in there." Just bits and pieces and body parts all over- a leg here, two heads there, a couple of arms over here... Oh well, they're doing great and we got to see them so that's all that matters.
And some good news! Baby A went from 1 pound 6 ounces (at 24 weeks) to a whopping 2 pounds 9 ounces today. Baby B went from 1 pound 6 ounces (24 weeks) to 2 pounds 6 ounces today. =) My babies are doing awesome. In a maximum of 9 weeks from today, I'll have outside babies! That's only another 63 days at the most! Crazy. They need to stay in for as long as possible, but I can't wait to meet them. (Once we get the house in order, of course.) =)
We have settled on a couple of boy names: Benjamin Ryan and Nathan James. All we have for girls so far is the first name Gabriella and probably Margaret for a middle name (that's my mom's name). I don't know if those two names would go together or not. Jamie and I need to get the girl situation figured out soon, though.
And some good news! Baby A went from 1 pound 6 ounces (at 24 weeks) to a whopping 2 pounds 9 ounces today. Baby B went from 1 pound 6 ounces (24 weeks) to 2 pounds 6 ounces today. =) My babies are doing awesome. In a maximum of 9 weeks from today, I'll have outside babies! That's only another 63 days at the most! Crazy. They need to stay in for as long as possible, but I can't wait to meet them. (Once we get the house in order, of course.) =)
We have settled on a couple of boy names: Benjamin Ryan and Nathan James. All we have for girls so far is the first name Gabriella and probably Margaret for a middle name (that's my mom's name). I don't know if those two names would go together or not. Jamie and I need to get the girl situation figured out soon, though.
Monday, May 23, 2011
bleh
I'm having *a day*. Nothing has gone wrong; I think life in general is just catching up with me or hitting me hard for some reason. If I had to pick one word to describe myself right now it would probably be overwhelmed. Jamie has been working weird, stupid, long hours lately, like 5pm-5am, 3-11 and turning around to do 7-3. Normally he works 7-3 Mon-Fri, so this is a big change. For the last month I've been bored and lonely during the day, but at least he'd be around evenings and weekends. This just blows, but it's great money that he can't turn down. Especially considering I will not be working next school year and we'll have 2 more little people around here that will need things that cost money. And we still are taking our baby Greta for cancer treatments.
My morning started off with one such appointment for her. My mom took the day off of school to go with me. That's when I started getting emotional- I have and will continue to do everything I can to make Greta comfortable and try to slow down her cancer. That has never been questioned! But I guess I just wish this wasn't how I spent my day or our money. I wish this never happened to her, and that's the bottom line. All I have to do is chauffer her around and swipe my credit card. She's the poor soul that has to endure treatment after treatment, and she just doesn't deserve it. In 3 weeks, at her next round of chemo, they'll do a chest x-ray to see if it has spread to her lungs. I'm terrified for that appointment. If the xray is still clear, then we'll finish out the last 3 rounds of chemo. If it has gotten to my baby's lungs, well... we'll need a new plan depending on how advanced it is.
In addition to Greta's appointment, I had another non-stress test (nst) today. It should be relatively easy and quick (maybe 30 minutes or so), but nothing is ever easy for me. We did an ultrasound right away to spot the babies' hearts, which should have made things a million times easier to place the monitors. Baby A is never an issue; it's just my silly Baby B who cannot hold still. The tech tried and tried and tried to get Baby B to stay on the monitor to no avail. After about 15 minutes she took me off the monitors and we did an second ultrasound to see where in the world that baby's heart was. Once we finally got it figured out, I had to, once again, push down hard at a tricky, uncomfortable angle to try to keep the monitor in the right spot. Ultimately, the whole appointment took about an hour.
My house is a flipping mess. There's no excuse for the current condition of things here. And I wish I could say that it was just a room or two, but it's not. It's the kitchen, our bedroom, our bathroom, and computer room. Just thinking about the disaster in each of those rooms makes my head hurt. In the kitchen, it's not just dishes in the sink. It's dishes, crap on the counter, more crap piled on the kitchen table, the floor, my fridge is gross, the pantry is a wreck... I think the master bedroom and bathroom are the worst of all. I'm seriously not even going to itemize everything that needs to be done in those rooms, but it's overwhelming to say the least. We probably have 10-12 loads of dirty laundry piled all over those rooms. There's simply no excuse.
I got a facebook message from the lady I used to babysit for while I was growing up. Two of the kids are in college now and the third is a junior in high school. We still keep in touch, and they actually live about 4 blocks away from us, even though they moved off my parents' block about 15 years ago. We just so happened to build in the same subdivision. Anyways, they want to bring over dinner for me and Jamie next week. I just don't want company. It could be my current mood, or the current condition of my house, but I'm just not feeling it right now. But OMG, how ungrateful can I be??? I can't turn her down. What would I even say?
I couldn't get the stupid hose connected to the spigot on the house to water my flowers and plants. Jamie hooked it up, but didn't do a very good job because more water is shooting out from the connection than is coming out of the nozzle. I asked him to please fix it, but that didn't happen today. And I can't blame him; work is nutso and he needs rest. We've got yew bushes lining the fence, and they keep dying. We've talked to the landscaping company, brought them in samples, paid to have the bushes (like 20 of them) dug up, had better drainage put down, and replanted, and here we go again. They die in pairs, and right now we are down 6 already this spring. I don't have money to drop on more G-d yews at 30 bucks a piece. Especially not when we don't know that the frickin problem is.
I have to get going on report cards for school. I need to make sure my sub has things under control for next Tuesday, which is records day (aka paperwork all day). I hope she doesn't need me up there. I can go up for a bit in the morning, but I have yet another appointment next Tuesday in the afternoon. Every week I have 3-4 appointments, and I know that might even increase.
I'm just worn out and overwhelmed with life. It feels like all I do is run around. While I'm not on bedrest, more house arrest, I think I'm just trying to do too much. Factor in my lack of sleep, and this current state is all I'm left with. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I was still working.
Here's hoping that writing it all down serves some sort of theraputic purpose, and I can snap out of this mood.
My morning started off with one such appointment for her. My mom took the day off of school to go with me. That's when I started getting emotional- I have and will continue to do everything I can to make Greta comfortable and try to slow down her cancer. That has never been questioned! But I guess I just wish this wasn't how I spent my day or our money. I wish this never happened to her, and that's the bottom line. All I have to do is chauffer her around and swipe my credit card. She's the poor soul that has to endure treatment after treatment, and she just doesn't deserve it. In 3 weeks, at her next round of chemo, they'll do a chest x-ray to see if it has spread to her lungs. I'm terrified for that appointment. If the xray is still clear, then we'll finish out the last 3 rounds of chemo. If it has gotten to my baby's lungs, well... we'll need a new plan depending on how advanced it is.
In addition to Greta's appointment, I had another non-stress test (nst) today. It should be relatively easy and quick (maybe 30 minutes or so), but nothing is ever easy for me. We did an ultrasound right away to spot the babies' hearts, which should have made things a million times easier to place the monitors. Baby A is never an issue; it's just my silly Baby B who cannot hold still. The tech tried and tried and tried to get Baby B to stay on the monitor to no avail. After about 15 minutes she took me off the monitors and we did an second ultrasound to see where in the world that baby's heart was. Once we finally got it figured out, I had to, once again, push down hard at a tricky, uncomfortable angle to try to keep the monitor in the right spot. Ultimately, the whole appointment took about an hour.
My house is a flipping mess. There's no excuse for the current condition of things here. And I wish I could say that it was just a room or two, but it's not. It's the kitchen, our bedroom, our bathroom, and computer room. Just thinking about the disaster in each of those rooms makes my head hurt. In the kitchen, it's not just dishes in the sink. It's dishes, crap on the counter, more crap piled on the kitchen table, the floor, my fridge is gross, the pantry is a wreck... I think the master bedroom and bathroom are the worst of all. I'm seriously not even going to itemize everything that needs to be done in those rooms, but it's overwhelming to say the least. We probably have 10-12 loads of dirty laundry piled all over those rooms. There's simply no excuse.
I got a facebook message from the lady I used to babysit for while I was growing up. Two of the kids are in college now and the third is a junior in high school. We still keep in touch, and they actually live about 4 blocks away from us, even though they moved off my parents' block about 15 years ago. We just so happened to build in the same subdivision. Anyways, they want to bring over dinner for me and Jamie next week. I just don't want company. It could be my current mood, or the current condition of my house, but I'm just not feeling it right now. But OMG, how ungrateful can I be??? I can't turn her down. What would I even say?
I couldn't get the stupid hose connected to the spigot on the house to water my flowers and plants. Jamie hooked it up, but didn't do a very good job because more water is shooting out from the connection than is coming out of the nozzle. I asked him to please fix it, but that didn't happen today. And I can't blame him; work is nutso and he needs rest. We've got yew bushes lining the fence, and they keep dying. We've talked to the landscaping company, brought them in samples, paid to have the bushes (like 20 of them) dug up, had better drainage put down, and replanted, and here we go again. They die in pairs, and right now we are down 6 already this spring. I don't have money to drop on more G-d yews at 30 bucks a piece. Especially not when we don't know that the frickin problem is.
I have to get going on report cards for school. I need to make sure my sub has things under control for next Tuesday, which is records day (aka paperwork all day). I hope she doesn't need me up there. I can go up for a bit in the morning, but I have yet another appointment next Tuesday in the afternoon. Every week I have 3-4 appointments, and I know that might even increase.
I'm just worn out and overwhelmed with life. It feels like all I do is run around. While I'm not on bedrest, more house arrest, I think I'm just trying to do too much. Factor in my lack of sleep, and this current state is all I'm left with. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I was still working.
Here's hoping that writing it all down serves some sort of theraputic purpose, and I can snap out of this mood.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
appointments this week
I've been a bit lazy with this lately. Here's what's been happening:
Monday- I had my first non-stress test. I basically just sat in a recliner, and they put heartrate monitors on each of the babies. Basically, once they get a basline heartrate, with me just sitting there doing nothing (hence the non-stress), each baby has to raise its heartrate from baseline to an increase of (I think) 15-20 beats, hold it there for (maybe) 10-15 seconds, and then have it return to normal. This has to happen X amount of times in a certain time period to pass. Although Baby B is very, very elusive, we eventually got a good strong trace on each of the heartbeats and both babies passed. I go back tomorrow for another one and a biophysical ultrasound. Not too sure what that exactly means, but I'll be sure to write about it once I find out. Every Monday and Thursday until the babies arrive, this will be our routine.
Tuesday- I had another ob appointment. These are pretty uneventful, in my eyes. They check my weight, blood pressure, listen for hearbeats with the doppler (but they seldom tell me any numbers, we just listen), check my urine for protein, and then measure my tummy. Everything went well. I passed my glucose test from last week. My liver functions were better than ever. I am borderline anemic. Anything 10.5 or less is anemic, apparently, and I was 10.8. Just to play it safe, my ob is starting me on prescription iron supplements. They might cause constipation, so I have that to look forward to.
Other than that... not much to report.
Monday- I had my first non-stress test. I basically just sat in a recliner, and they put heartrate monitors on each of the babies. Basically, once they get a basline heartrate, with me just sitting there doing nothing (hence the non-stress), each baby has to raise its heartrate from baseline to an increase of (I think) 15-20 beats, hold it there for (maybe) 10-15 seconds, and then have it return to normal. This has to happen X amount of times in a certain time period to pass. Although Baby B is very, very elusive, we eventually got a good strong trace on each of the heartbeats and both babies passed. I go back tomorrow for another one and a biophysical ultrasound. Not too sure what that exactly means, but I'll be sure to write about it once I find out. Every Monday and Thursday until the babies arrive, this will be our routine.
Tuesday- I had another ob appointment. These are pretty uneventful, in my eyes. They check my weight, blood pressure, listen for hearbeats with the doppler (but they seldom tell me any numbers, we just listen), check my urine for protein, and then measure my tummy. Everything went well. I passed my glucose test from last week. My liver functions were better than ever. I am borderline anemic. Anything 10.5 or less is anemic, apparently, and I was 10.8. Just to play it safe, my ob is starting me on prescription iron supplements. They might cause constipation, so I have that to look forward to.
Other than that... not much to report.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
last call
I know quite a few people have had issues with Blogger eating comments, so here's my last call to share your email for an invite. So far 6 people had left their address in the comment box and I recieved 1 email. If anyone else is out there, drop me a line or you'll be cut off as of tomorrow! Comment below or email me at a-litko@hotmail.com Thanks!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
privacy setting
I have decided to change the privacy settings on my blog for a few reasons. That being said- I'll keep it open for a few days so you all can have a chance to read this. If you'd like to still have access, please leave your email address in a comment box and I'll send you an invite when I switch settings in a few days. I believe even current followers need to get an invite to continue seeing posts. If you're reading this and are a lurker (no worries- I used to lurk on blogs all.of.the.time. until I started my own!), come out and play. =) Leave your address so I can invite you, too. If you'd rather not post your email address, feel free to send me a private email with it at: a-litko@hotmail.com
yesterday's field trip
Yesterday marked my second visit to the labor and delivery/ triage floor at the hospital. I had really bad cramps on Wednesday night. During the day on Thursday they pretty much went away, but I still had some lower back pain. Thursday night brought on more cramping, so Friday (yesterday) my ob decided that I should go be monitored for uterine contractions for a while.
Although I was up there for a few hours, luckily, it was an uneventful experience. I had no contractions while there. We found both babies' heartbeats right away, and the little ones were very active. My blood pressure was a bit elevated when I first got there (not a big shocker- I was going to the hospital!), but they kept the cuff on me and it was rechecked about every 10-15 minutes and came right down to normal.
Basically, they think the cramping is just a normal part of my pregnancy. It's pretty much low, front, and center, acting up more at night time when I'm lying down. I can use a heating pad on its lowest setting for cramps or backache, as needed. I can take Tylenol before bed to help with cramping. Rest. Drink water. The usual stuff. Everyone was so nice to me. They kept reassuring me to always call my doctor or just come up if something doesn't seem right to me. They'd rather see a patient a hundred times and have everything be perfectly fine than to have someone show up after the fact when there's a problem that may or may not be fixable upon arrival.
I had my first fetal fibronectin test. It was a bit more uncomfortable than a pap smear. The test checks for s certain protein that would be an indicator if labor is likely in the next two weeks. A negative result is about 90% certain that labor will not happen in the next few weeks. A positive result gives about a 50-50 chance of labor, it's not a given. My test came back negative, so even though there are still people on the wrong end of the 90%, I'm thrilled. My cervix was still long and closed. All in all, not how I planned on spending my day, but I got a lot of reassurances that everything is ok with my babies and my body.
Although I was up there for a few hours, luckily, it was an uneventful experience. I had no contractions while there. We found both babies' heartbeats right away, and the little ones were very active. My blood pressure was a bit elevated when I first got there (not a big shocker- I was going to the hospital!), but they kept the cuff on me and it was rechecked about every 10-15 minutes and came right down to normal.
Basically, they think the cramping is just a normal part of my pregnancy. It's pretty much low, front, and center, acting up more at night time when I'm lying down. I can use a heating pad on its lowest setting for cramps or backache, as needed. I can take Tylenol before bed to help with cramping. Rest. Drink water. The usual stuff. Everyone was so nice to me. They kept reassuring me to always call my doctor or just come up if something doesn't seem right to me. They'd rather see a patient a hundred times and have everything be perfectly fine than to have someone show up after the fact when there's a problem that may or may not be fixable upon arrival.
I had my first fetal fibronectin test. It was a bit more uncomfortable than a pap smear. The test checks for s certain protein that would be an indicator if labor is likely in the next two weeks. A negative result is about 90% certain that labor will not happen in the next few weeks. A positive result gives about a 50-50 chance of labor, it's not a given. My test came back negative, so even though there are still people on the wrong end of the 90%, I'm thrilled. My cervix was still long and closed. All in all, not how I planned on spending my day, but I got a lot of reassurances that everything is ok with my babies and my body.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
tummy shot: 25 weeks
How far along? 25 weeks
Weight gain: 10 pounds
Weight gain: 10 pounds
Maternity clothes? all the time
Stretch marks? nope, knockonwood
Sleep? I've been sick and unable to breath through my nose. Mouth breathing sucks so I've been pretty restless.
Belly button in or out? still an innie
Movement? All of the time. I can see them moving, too, although B is easier to see than A. Jamie has felt Baby B!
Cravings? nothing really
Monday, May 2, 2011
nursery update- we're getting there
Jamie got the nursery all painted a few weeks ago, with just a bit of help edging from my dad. He built the cribs, with some help from Greta. And he got the furniture upstairs and in position, with some help from my brother. We're in really good shape so far. This weekend he and my dad are supposed to put the Peter Rabbit mural up above the cribs, but it might take a bit longer to get the woodwork purchased, painted, cut, and hung so pictures may be a while. We also still need to figure out the closet situation (there's this weird bump out that eats up valuable space because the closet is over the staircase). Oh, and we need window treatments. We still have the paper shades up from when we moved almost three years ago. Here's how it's looking:
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| Jamie and Greta hard at work, but pausing to smile at the camera! |
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| Greta was whispering some words of encouragement to Daddy. |
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| The picture doesn't do the paint color justice. It's a beautiful, light, minty green. |
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| The "fraternal" blankies that my parents bought for Christmas. We're big Disney people in my family. Jamie and I bought the baby Goofy rattle years ago, before we even started ttc. How could we ever decide which baby would get it? Luckily we didn't have to. My parents went to Florida just a few weeks ago and were given the mission to find baby Donald Duck. (We had bought one for Brooke's baby, before she even knew she was going to have one!) |
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| This dresser will be our changing table once the babies arrive. For now, it just displays some of their treasures. (This wall looks darker than the rest from the sunlight coming in, I think.) |
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| Closet and turny glider. There's a matching ottoman, but since I'm not using it yet I don't like it just floating in the middle of the room. |
mid night, early morning ramblings
At the risk of sounding high and mighty and judgemental, I have been reminded of a feeling that I used to have quite often before my bfp: not everyone deserves to be a parent. There. I said it. We all hear about extreme cases of abuse or neglect on the news, but every so often in real life there arises a situation that forces me to ask "Why was he/she blessed with a baby when other, more deserving people aren't?" and clearly I do not ask myself this because I see signs of abuse or neglect. There is a whole gray area on the parenting spectrum where a mother or father can just seem to not outwardly care about their child. I guess I use the word "deserving" as a synonym to loving, caring, interested, compassionate, or stable. It hurts my heart to know people that I think deserve the joy and pleasure and priviledge of pregnancy and parenthood and are not given the opportunity, and then you have others who have it fall into their laps, whether they are ready/ willing/ able or not. There's more to being a parent than simply giving birth.
I keep pausing to reread what I've written, and I wish it wasn't so vague but that's just the way it has to be. It makes sense to me, and I know exactly what I'm writing about. It makes me feel better to get it off my chest even if it isn't entirely coherent to my readers.
I have so much faith and trust in God, but I think sometimes he drops the ball. I think that being God is a big responsibility, and I wonder if things sometimes slip by Him. I often wish I could be Keeper of the Babies. I'm a very good judge of character. Maybe I could just give Him my opinion on things baby-related. He might appreciate the help, who knows. In my 30 years of life, but I'd say in the last 5-6 years for sure, I could rattle off quite a few examples of life changing events that should not have been. Again, I'll keep it vague, but I'm recalling numerous, large-scale *life's not fair* moments for me, my family, and my friends.
Have you seen the 80's movie "Parenthood" with Steve Martin? Great flick. Towards the end of the movie, Keanu Reeves' character has just talked to his fiance/wife's brother about some personal issues regarding his dad. Reeves relates a story about his own childhood and, although he's a big goofball in the movie, he lays down a pretty meaningful analogy. Here it is:
I keep pausing to reread what I've written, and I wish it wasn't so vague but that's just the way it has to be. It makes sense to me, and I know exactly what I'm writing about. It makes me feel better to get it off my chest even if it isn't entirely coherent to my readers.
I have so much faith and trust in God, but I think sometimes he drops the ball. I think that being God is a big responsibility, and I wonder if things sometimes slip by Him. I often wish I could be Keeper of the Babies. I'm a very good judge of character. Maybe I could just give Him my opinion on things baby-related. He might appreciate the help, who knows. In my 30 years of life, but I'd say in the last 5-6 years for sure, I could rattle off quite a few examples of life changing events that should not have been. Again, I'll keep it vague, but I'm recalling numerous, large-scale *life's not fair* moments for me, my family, and my friends.
Have you seen the 80's movie "Parenthood" with Steve Martin? Great flick. Towards the end of the movie, Keanu Reeves' character has just talked to his fiance/wife's brother about some personal issues regarding his dad. Reeves relates a story about his own childhood and, although he's a big goofball in the movie, he lays down a pretty meaningful analogy. Here it is:
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