Friday, March 25, 2011

my Greta: my 1st baby

Greta is my world.  She has been a faithful loving friend since we brough her home in early June 2006.  She has comforted me, kept me company on countless sleepless nights that were often filled with crying, and brought me joy and happiness that I can't even describe. 

Her 5th birthday is coming up next Saturday, April 2.  On Tuesday, in the morning I noticed she was favoring her right front paw a bit.  Jamie kept an eye on her since he's still home, and we thought maybe she slept funny on it.  Wednesday morning was more of the same.  Thursday morning I was rushing out of the house for a faculty meeting and just gave her a bunch of kisses good bye but didn't even check if she was limping. 

When I got home from school, Jamie told me that she was still limping, so I called the vet to have her seen on Friday.  As we were waiting for dinner to cook, Greta was going to get off of the couch and when she stepped down I could tell it hurt a bit.  Jamie called the vet right back, and they could get her in at 5:30.  We figured it maybe got twisted when she was running or perhaps maybe a touch of arthritis.  Were we ever wrong.

I am so worn out from crying, so here's what happened in a nutshell.  They did an x-ray of her foot.  There are 3 spots in her bone that appear to be osteosarcoma (bone cancer).  It is very aggressive and painful.  Basically, pockets in her bones will become hollowed out, very fragile, and expand into bulges.  We are very hopeful that we caught it early since there were no outward signs of this.  I have been praying to God and Saint Francis for a miracle for my Greta.  Please, dear God, do not have let it spread into more of her bones or lungs.  Please give my Greta a miracle. 

Tomorrow morning, Jamie and I will take our first baby (we got her after just 6 months of marriage) in to be knocked out and have full body x-rays done to see what, if anything, else is going on inside of my angel.  We have an appointment for Tuesday morning with one of the leading veterinary oncologists to see what can be done to make her more comfortable and to prolong a quality life for Greta.  So much just hinges on tomorrow's results.

I fell asleep after 11 and woke up at 12:35.  Jamie was in bed, so I had to sort of sit up to see his alarm clock.  I was a bit out of sorts at first and thought "what a nightmare I just had, Greta has cancer"... only it's a nightmare that is most probably a reality.  My Greta is too young for this.  She should have a few more good years left in her.  She has a big job ahead of her helping me raise babies.  This is not how it's supposed to be.

So, in the last 3 hours I've been up, I dug out most of my scrapbook stuff, including hundreds (yes, literally hundreds- I said she's my whole world, and I've got the photos to prove it) of pictures of Greta from her first year, and spread it out on the nursery floor.  As much as I love to look at finished scrapbooks, with cute paper, pictures, quotes, stickers, and 3D embelllishments, apparently I don't have the dedication to get them done.  I have not finished my wedding one from over 5 years ago, and Greta's baby book/her first year hadn't been started yet.  How could the time have gone this quickly?  It's just not fair. 

We'll see what tomorrow holds for us and for our sweet, gentle giant, and we'll just take it one day at a time.  Words can not begin to express the love that Jamie and I have for Greta.  We'll enjoy each and every moment we have with her and will continue to do what is in her best interest and not make choices based on our selfishness of wanting her to just be here.  If these are in fact the cards we've been dealt, we'll play them the best we can.  She has given us so much and we will not let her suffer in pain.  We will do what we can to make her life the best it can be for the time that we are blessed to have her with us.  I hope and pray that we can end up on the right side of statistics for treatments and be given more time with her, but only if she's up to it.  I desperately want her to meet our babies this summer, but not at her expense.  I need Greta and will be lost without her when that day one day comes.  By the grace of God, I pray it's not for a while.  If you read this and you're the praying type, please pray for her.

Greta on her love seat (taken about a month ago- at the end of February).
We came in through the garage door which is loud, heavy, and about 10 feet away from Sleeping Beauty.
She didn't bat an eyelash!  We stood there watching her for a while.  I went and got my camera, took a few pictures, and finally she opened her gorgeous brown eyes and wagged her tail at us.  "Hey, Mom and Dad!  Where'd you come from?"  She is such a precious gift from God.

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