tummy shot: 20 weeks

How far along? 20 weeks
Weight gain: about 6 pounds

Maternity clothes? oh yeah- pants for a while now, shirts for the last 2 or 3 weeks

Stretch marks? knock on wood, no

Sleep? I get up a couple of times a night for pee breaks, but otherwise pretty good.

Belly button in or out? still in, although the bottom portion seems to be pulled a little tighter

Movement? yup, Baby B can be felt a little bit easier because of location, but I can feel them both almost every day now
Cravings? I've been on a big chocolate milk kick lately.

my Greta: my 1st baby

Greta is my world.  She has been a faithful loving friend since we brough her home in early June 2006.  She has comforted me, kept me company on countless sleepless nights that were often filled with crying, and brought me joy and happiness that I can't even describe. 

Her 5th birthday is coming up next Saturday, April 2.  On Tuesday, in the morning I noticed she was favoring her right front paw a bit.  Jamie kept an eye on her since he's still home, and we thought maybe she slept funny on it.  Wednesday morning was more of the same.  Thursday morning I was rushing out of the house for a faculty meeting and just gave her a bunch of kisses good bye but didn't even check if she was limping. 

When I got home from school, Jamie told me that she was still limping, so I called the vet to have her seen on Friday.  As we were waiting for dinner to cook, Greta was going to get off of the couch and when she stepped down I could tell it hurt a bit.  Jamie called the vet right back, and they could get her in at 5:30.  We figured it maybe got twisted when she was running or perhaps maybe a touch of arthritis.  Were we ever wrong.

I am so worn out from crying, so here's what happened in a nutshell.  They did an x-ray of her foot.  There are 3 spots in her bone that appear to be osteosarcoma (bone cancer).  It is very aggressive and painful.  Basically, pockets in her bones will become hollowed out, very fragile, and expand into bulges.  We are very hopeful that we caught it early since there were no outward signs of this.  I have been praying to God and Saint Francis for a miracle for my Greta.  Please, dear God, do not have let it spread into more of her bones or lungs.  Please give my Greta a miracle. 

Tomorrow morning, Jamie and I will take our first baby (we got her after just 6 months of marriage) in to be knocked out and have full body x-rays done to see what, if anything, else is going on inside of my angel.  We have an appointment for Tuesday morning with one of the leading veterinary oncologists to see what can be done to make her more comfortable and to prolong a quality life for Greta.  So much just hinges on tomorrow's results.

I fell asleep after 11 and woke up at 12:35.  Jamie was in bed, so I had to sort of sit up to see his alarm clock.  I was a bit out of sorts at first and thought "what a nightmare I just had, Greta has cancer"... only it's a nightmare that is most probably a reality.  My Greta is too young for this.  She should have a few more good years left in her.  She has a big job ahead of her helping me raise babies.  This is not how it's supposed to be.

So, in the last 3 hours I've been up, I dug out most of my scrapbook stuff, including hundreds (yes, literally hundreds- I said she's my whole world, and I've got the photos to prove it) of pictures of Greta from her first year, and spread it out on the nursery floor.  As much as I love to look at finished scrapbooks, with cute paper, pictures, quotes, stickers, and 3D embelllishments, apparently I don't have the dedication to get them done.  I have not finished my wedding one from over 5 years ago, and Greta's baby book/her first year hadn't been started yet.  How could the time have gone this quickly?  It's just not fair. 

We'll see what tomorrow holds for us and for our sweet, gentle giant, and we'll just take it one day at a time.  Words can not begin to express the love that Jamie and I have for Greta.  We'll enjoy each and every moment we have with her and will continue to do what is in her best interest and not make choices based on our selfishness of wanting her to just be here.  If these are in fact the cards we've been dealt, we'll play them the best we can.  She has given us so much and we will not let her suffer in pain.  We will do what we can to make her life the best it can be for the time that we are blessed to have her with us.  I hope and pray that we can end up on the right side of statistics for treatments and be given more time with her, but only if she's up to it.  I desperately want her to meet our babies this summer, but not at her expense.  I need Greta and will be lost without her when that day one day comes.  By the grace of God, I pray it's not for a while.  If you read this and you're the praying type, please pray for her.

Greta on her love seat (taken about a month ago- at the end of February).
We came in through the garage door which is loud, heavy, and about 10 feet away from Sleeping Beauty.
She didn't bat an eyelash!  We stood there watching her for a while.  I went and got my camera, took a few pictures, and finally she opened her gorgeous brown eyes and wagged her tail at us.  "Hey, Mom and Dad!  Where'd you come from?"  She is such a precious gift from God.

nursery- cute bookcases

Last night began my quest for cute bookcases for the nursery.  When Nick and I were growing up we had a red cuckoo clock bookcase.  It was only about 4 feet high and maybe 2 feet or so wide, with 3 shelves.  The shelving part looked like a rectangle and the "clock part" was similar to a triangle on top.  Think of drawing the most basic house- square and triangle, but stretch out the square.  The clock was painted on to the front of the triangle; just adorable.  I would like a cute bookcase for my babies, and Nick has "dibs", if you will, on the cuckoo clock.  Since he's older apparently everything that was ours was really his first.  Maybe my parents will just keep it for all grandbabies to share (it's still loaded with books), who knows.  Hey, if nothing else, it gives me another reason to shop for the SnuggleBugs!  I was initially just thinking of a plain bookcase, that Jamie could paint in a cooridinating color and maybe stencil or throw some decals on.  That still may be the case, but I stumbled across these and my heart leapt.  I'd likely have to wait and see what genders our babies are beforing committing to any of these, but how cute are they?  They are all made by Teamson:

nursery- part 1

Jamie has been off of work this week, so he was able to make some progress in the nursery.  He emptied the (former) computer room, went into the attic and ran cable to move the computer into Presley's room (our lovebird), and started priming the ceiling and walls.  Here are a few shots of what the room looks like, starting with a straight on view from the doorway and working clockwise around the room:

view from the door
the dresser/changing table will go between the windows

either the tall dresser OR a small bookcase (that I haven't found yet) will go between the closet and door

my chair and ottoman will go on this wall

the main event:  our Peter Rabbit Mural will go on the top section of this wall
both cribs will be underneath the mural, headboards in the back, facing out

Hopefully this weekend we can decide on a paint color for the walls.  It's still either going to be a very pale blue or light green that's pulled from the mural.  We're still unsure whether we want to have a ceiling light or just a lamp or two.  Jamie's an electrician, so putting in a box and the light fixture in the ceiling isn't a big deal, but he'd like to do it before the ceiling is painted if that's the way we're going to go.  I've been looking at nursery chandeliers that have a florally/gardeny feel to them to compliment the mural, but I'm not entirely gung-ho on any of them yet.  Here are a few that I've found so far:

potterybarnkids.com

annabean.com

ababy.com

tummy shot: 18 weeks

At my ob appointment on Tuesday I was measuring 22 weeks.  Both heartbeats were strong; they just used a doppler to hear them so I don't know how fast they were.  I saw the other doctor in my practice and he informed me that Baby A has a low-lying placenta (basically, it's just that- low and close to my cervix).  They are hopeful that as the weeks progress the placenta moves away from my cervix a bit, which I guess is somewhat normal.  They'll keep an eye on it so placenta previa doesn't become an issue for me. 

So here I am at 18 weeks:

tummy shot: 17 weeks AND my phone call

Here I am, hopefully not looking at utterly exhausted as I feel:

Rewind to last night- At 9:15ish my ob calls back (without having to be paged, thankyouverymuch).  In a nutshell, part two of my sequential screening came back negative, which is awesome.  My odds of spina bifida are 1 in 1,100 (cutoff for a positive result was 1 in 145).  Now, with part one my odds for down syndrome based on just my age were 1 in 750, but after bloodwork it jumped to 1 in 1,200.  Here's what he wanted to chat about:  the cutoff for part two was 1 in 240.  Based on my age, my odds were 1 in 740, but after bloodwork it dipped a bit to 1 in 690.  Still well above what they'd worry about, but I don't like being a higher risk than I should be for my age.  He reassured me that everything has looked fabulous on our ultrasounds so far, and at the 20 week u/s, that'll really ice the cake that we're all doing great.  He went into a lot of detail about how with a "syndrome" more than one bodily function is affected, which is why he'll certainly be anxious to see the brains, hearts, kidneys, necks, and noses, but this momma knows that it'll all be picture perfect.  He inquired if I'd want an amnio (which he was NOT suggesting, but rather letting me know further testing could be done), but he and I had already talked about this at my first appointment and the risks do not outweigh the benefits.  1 in 200 amnios end in miscarriage, and they'd have to amnio both of my babies.  I don't f'ing think so!  He also brought up that if the hypothetical amnio showed anything, would that change anything for us (which, again, he already knew but just wanted to hear me repeat)?  No f'ing way!!!  I'm certain that both of my SnuggleBugs are fine and healthy, but God-forbid a baby had a medical condition, that would in no way shape or form change anything for me or Jamie.  I know he was just being extra cautious and giving us all of the information, but I still took it pretty hard.  The bottom line in terms of the testing is everything came back negative.  If we're talking black or white results, it's clear that we're all just fine and dandy.  There are always shades of gray, but trying to analyze them will make me crazy and can not do anything positive in the next three weeks for me or my beautiful babies.  So that's where we are.  Any thoughts and prayers that could be spared are always appreciated! 

stressed

So this evening just after 6, I missed a call on both my cell phone and our house phone (we weren't home) from my ob.  Last week I had the second part of the sequential screening done- just bloodwork, so it was not biggie.  My doc left a message at home saying that he had results from one of the tests to go over with me.  He'll be in tomorrow from 1-7.  I know the second part of the test was to get a more accurate picture for down syndrome and also spina bifida.  I am sure everything is totally fine and he just wants to give me the odds, but I'm still nervous.  I called back but got a recording.  They were there from 9-4 today, so when he even called, he was staying late, I'm sure with phones off to incoming calls.  I'm stressed.  Why couldn't he just have said "everything looks ok/normal/good/fine, but I want to go over the results tomorrow"?  I called my peri's office, and that dr was gone too, but I spoke to his receptionist (before knowing he wasn't there) to plead my case, not for specific results just a simple "no need to worry".  She was very understanding and tried to get me through to my ob on their backlines, but everyone was gone.  ::sigh::  I thought long and hard about paging the doc on call, but I know they won't have results to share, unless it was my guy (although there are only 2 of them...).  I called my ob back, all prepared to page, but when the recording said "if this is a medical emergency, please stay on the line and an operator will be with you shortly" I hung up.  This is not a medical emergency.  This is just a nervous first-time momma that worries a lot.  While nobody likes getting checkmarks by their name on a medical chart or receiving demerits, I'd risk it if I thought the chances were good I'd get results tonight.  So, my plan is this:  tell my principal and the secretaries that I'm waiting for a very important call from my doctor, call at 1:00 and leave a message with my school number if I can't speak to him right then, then when my call comes back, someone will just have to cover me so I can take it.  I refuse to play phone tag all day tomorrow.  ::sigh::  Here's hoping that tonight's not too long of a night and that I can sleep.

making some progress

There hasn't been a whole heck of a lot to write about lately.  A few updates I do have to share are that we are pretty much done registering.  We did both Buy Buy Baby and Babies R Us, although BBB's list is significantly longer.  Not all of our shower guests live nearby, and I know there are a lot more BRU around for out of towners, which is why we did both. 

We ended up ordering the Peter Rabbit mural!  It arrived at the end of the week and is even more vibrant and beautiful than I had imagined.  I can.not.wait. to post pictures of it.  We're looking at paint samples and will likely go with either a pale green or a super duper light blue. 

Yesterday we bought the most fabulous, comfy chair ever.  Jamie will go back to pick it up today (with my brother?).  It'll likely join the rest of the nursery furniture in our living room for now, but at least it'll all be here. 

Since I'm off of school today, I'd like to say that I'll work on cleaning the junk out of the computer room/ soon to be nursery.  If I'm being honest, though, I'll more likely watch tv, read from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and perhaps work a nap in there somewhere.  I woke up today with a slight headache that I haven't shaken yet.  I try my best to hold off on taking Tylenol, but headaches are simply the pits. 

u/s: 16 weeks

Baby A:

heart rate of 145 bpm, weighing about 5 ounces

Baby B:

heart rate of 143 bpm, weighing about 6 ounces

tummy shot: 16 weeks and some interoffice mail

My headline says it all...

16 weeks

As much as I love my tummy, I was not oogling it at the moment.  Jamie commented that this shirt didn't show off my bump very well, so I was looking down to take a peek and he got snap happy.  I just thought it ended up being a kinda cute shot- the decisive moment it was called in my college photography class, where Brooke and I met!!

As a teacher, I don't get interoffice mail very often.  When I do get it (or send it for that matter) it's between me and my friend Cindy and it makes my day!  We both taught at my first school together, and both put in for transfers from there two years ago.  We interoffice each other the big seasonal Reese's peanut butter cups (you know, the pumpkin, heart, or egg ones) and festive socks.  She always got a kick out of my cute, festive footwear, and I got her hooked.  So, yesterday at lunch I have a package in my mailbox.  Here's it's contents: