not being able to sleep = random catch up time

Who knew that the quickest, most simple middle of the night bathroom break could cause me to be awake for hours?  I mean, seriously... this is ridiculous.  I woke up at 1:34 for a pee break, went right back to my comfy bed, and bam!  One hour of tossing and turning later I decided to give up the fight and just mess around on the computer.  Ugh.  I just want to sleep; is that too much to ask?

It's official- I can feel my SnuggleBugs becoming WiggleWorms!!!  I had felt a few little *things* here and there before, but I didn't want to go blabbing in case it was just digestion or a gas bubble.  But since I have gotten the same sensations multiple times now- several times yesterday alone- I know it's my kiddos!

Tuesday's doctor's appointment:  long story made short, I've had this low, front and center tugging (I hate to call it cramping because that sounds serious and painful, and what I felt was neither of those two things) that I mentioned to my school nurse at the end of last week, talked to my family doc about on Monday's blood pressure check (which was 110-76, thankyouverymuch), and to my ob on Tuesday.  I also consulted two pregnant friends, Jamie, my mom, and Dr. Google.  Apparently, my ob is very protective of me and did not like to hear this.  He was a bit concerned that it could have indicated an issue with my cervix.  So he called the Maternal Fetal Medicine place and had them squeeze me in.  Excellent news, my cervix was measuring 35-36mm and was not funneling.  The u/s tech also wanted to hear the babies heartbeats, so while I had emptied my bladder completely for the trans-vag u/s, I still got a quick peak at the babies!  Their heartbeats were 149 and 154.  =)  Also, rewind back to the ob, I was measuring 19 weeks at my 15 week appointment- a full 4 weeks ahead. 

There's been a bit of drama at work.  One other girl and I are both up for tenure this year.  She got riffed, I'm getting tenured, and have already received my letter granting me one year leave to be with my SnuggleBugs.  I knew that there were going to be issues; it was just a matter of time.  This week, said issues began.  Another long story short is that she had inquired with the union how many days I have to work in the year to be tenured.  She came at me really shitty after school to talk about it and inform me that I have to work at least 100 days to be tenured.  "And with your fmla and all of the other days you took off before you were pregnant, you really need to watch it.  You've missed a lot of work."  So, that got me going.  I've been super distant to her since then and have vented to a few work friends that were shocked (sort of, they know how she rolls) at her audacity.  My whole thing is this: if she is ballsy enough to come to my face with this, what other maneuvering is being done that I don't know about?  That's not a good feeling to walk around with.  I know I'm golden for next year; that's not the issue.  I just don't like snakes!  The little "about me" blurb on my homepage says it all- I "would do anything for a friend. Just don't cross me because I have a hard time letting things go."  I openly admit this, yet she chose to take the low road on her way out of town.  And to boot, she had two terrible evaluations this year, has been reprimanded for her lack of classroom management and control for a long while now, and gossips to parents about private teacher issues regarding other students.  She could have been dismissed instead of riffed, but I think they threw her a bone. 

I think we're going to start registering this weekend.  Jamie's been ready for a long while, but I've wanted to hold off a bit.  Since I'm just shy of 16 weeks, I'm likely going to give in and let him begin.  We need to research the big ticket items (strollers, car seats, high chairs, etc) a bit more, but the fun stuff can get scanned.

tummy shot: 15 weeks

Today has been quite a day.  I'll write all about it tomorrow, but let's just say I had my first little scare, if you will, at today's ob appointment.  I'm simply too tired and ready to crash right now to go into it.  Before I can put my jammies on and watch "The Biggest Loser" (while I eat ice cream) we had to take my tummy shot.  I had so.many.people. at school today comment on my baby bump.  Yup, I think I really have popped now:



I love my 15 week tummy!
There's something weird happening with the front of my pants, though.



Giving the SnuggleBugs a love pat.

nursery furniture

We've been going back and forth about the nursery for a while.  Which room should we use?  (we have a 3 bedroom house)  What color wood?  What kind of bedding?  Convertible cribs or standard?  The list of questions goes on and on.  Well, today was a big day.  We found and fell in love with a furniture collection.  My parents always told my brother and I that they'd like to buy the furniture for our baby's nursery.  They hooked up Dominick, and now they did the same for our SnuggleBugs.  In the spirit of fairness (since Nick and Brooke had 1 baby and we're having 2) we told them we'd cover the second crib, but they'd hear nothing of it.  So, while there's still a lot to figure out for the nursery, we've got furniture!



It's a beautiful French White color- much more beige than white.
This picture does not show how rich and creamy the beige is;
it's seriously not at all white!


We got 2 cribs, the tall 5 drawer dresser, and the low, long dresser to be used as a changing table.  It's all just fabulous!!!  The cribs are convertible, so that's going to change the layout of things a bit, but we'll figure it out. 

I've been on a Peter Rabbit kick for a while (admittedly, on and off).  In a perfect world this mural would be on the big blank wall in the nursery (framed out in matching French White wood trim so it looks like a picture in a frame), about half the height of the wall, the bottom of the mural being about where the top of the cribs would start, and with the two cribs side-by-side underneath it:



http://www.muralsyourway.com/myw5-design.cfm?pid=MMCGBP1017
country landscape II


I don't know if there's enough room for my vision to become a reality.  Once we get the computer room emptied and the furniture set up, we'll see how it goes.  I'd likely pull a green or yellow from the mural to paint the remaining wallls, and keep the bedding very simple- just solid colors (yellow or green if we buy it ahead of time; pink, purple, or blue if we buy it after the babies are born and we see who we've been blessed with).  This is what I'm leaning towards now.  I'm sure it'll change a whole bunch of times in the next month or two, but any other serious contenders will certainly get blogged about!

tummy shot: (almost) 14 weeks on 2-14

Ok, so last week back at work was brutal.  My kids.were.monsters.  I don't even want to get into things at this point, but on Wednesday they made me cry in front of them.  So, anyways, it's a new week and a fresh start.  It was also our Valentine's Day party.  ::sigh::  I'm the grinch that stole all holiday parties from third graders, and I hate class parties.  The kids are wild and the room moms aren't much better.  But it's all over and done with, hopefully for a long while, and then I'll be on the room mom side of things. 

My Valentine baby shirt:

I got this shirt on clearancefor ten bucks.  silver, light pink, and hot pink glitter writing

Last week I was simply wiped out, missed my 13w tummy shot, and by Wednesday my kids got me sick.  I'm still fighting it off.  Go ahead and try to tell me that there's not a huge difference in two week!  =)  I think I officially look pregnant, which we all know I have been dying for.

almost 14 weeks (13w6d to be exact, but close enough)

heigh-ho, heigh-ho, back to work I go

Yup, that sums it all up.  I returned to work today after almost 2 months off.  I. am. exhausted.  Plain and simple, that's all there is to it.  I will be putting on my jammies and crawling into bed in the next half hour.  If I fall asleep, I fall asleep, but the tv will be on.  Put a fork in me, I'm done. 

my experience in the twilight zone

My mind is still reeling, so this might not make complete sense.  I went to have labs done this morning that my ob had ordered on Tuesday.  I signed in at 9:53 and was back in the room before 10.  Linda (a young girl probably around 25ish with a bad cold) had a heck of a time reading my doctor's orders.  I could figure out most of it, so I didn't think a phlebotamist would have a problem- pretty standard stuff.  She had to go get help deciphering his writing, which is where things took a funny turn.  Once the other two ladies saw that a pregnancy profile was on the list they came in to see the "baby momma" as they called me. 
lady- "How far along are you?"  (simple question) 
me- "13 weeks, with twins"  (simple answer?  WRONG!!!) 
lady- "Twins!?!?  Suzy come here, the baby momma's having twins."  (keep in mind these were two middle age white ladies)  "Suzy has 3 year old twin grandsons."
me- "Wow, that's great."
Suzy- "If you're only 13 weeks, how do you know you're having twins.  They don't do ultrasounds until like 20 weeks.  Were you getting too big too quick?"
me- "Nope, I had ivf done."
Suzy- "Oh."
Lady- "What's that?"
Linda- "She's infertile."  
my internal monologue- (This can't be seriously happening.  Can someone check my blood pressure?)
Suzy- "I hope you have a lot of help.  Twins are terrible.  I wouldn't wish twins on anyone."  (exits room)
Lady- "Wow, twins..."  (exits room)
Linda- "My cousin tried to have a baby for 7 years, but since there was nothing wrong with her or her husband they wouldn't help them.  Then they went on vacation and got pregnant.  My nephew, he's not really my nephew but I call him that, is almost 2.  Want to see a picture?  My cousin is pregnant again."
me- "Wow, that's great.  I hear that sometimes happens."
my internal monologue- (Can you please just draw my f-ing blood so I can go home?  Jamie went to the bakery for donuts and I'm hungry.)
Linda- showing me her phone, "Here he is.  Curly hair and green eyes.  He's gonna be hot when he grows up."
me- smile and nod, smile and nod
Linda- "So with ivf, they take your egg and his sperm, mix them together and put them back in?  That's good that worked."
me- "That's pretty much how it works, but there's a bit more to it.  It's not quite that easy.  You see, I had an ivf done last January and we had 14 embryos.  We put one in, but it didn't work.  Then I had to go on birth control for a cycle, hormones to get my body ready, then we put two more in in March.  (I walked her through it, but I won't bore you with those details.  Ultimately, new doctor, 2nd ivf, 2 in, both took)
Linda- "So you still have 7 left from your first thing.  Are they at home in your freezer?"
my internal monologue (Yup, right next to the Tombstone pizzas.  I want to go home, draw my blood.)
me- "No, they have to be kept really, really cold- cryopreservation." 
Linda- "I bet you could sell them and make a lot of money."
me- crickets.  crickets.  How do you respond to that?
Linda- "You know, like to someone that needs them?"
me- "Well, there's embryo adoption, but I don't know if you get paid for that."
Linda- "Egg donors get paid a lot of money.  How come?"
me- "Hmmm.  Well, it's very hard on your body.  Normally, you release one egg from one ovary every month.  They alternate sides.  When you get ready for ivf, like being an egg donor, you have to stimulate both ovaries.  I had close to 30 eggs.  That's very hard on your body.  You have to take lots of shots to get the eggs to develop.  It's also very painful to retreive the eggs."
Linda- "Your have to take shots???"
me- sigh "Yup, a lot of shots."
Linda- "Wow.  I didn't know that."

Our conversation went on quite a while longer, but I don't have the strength to continue right now.  It was like that episode of Seinfeld wen Elaine is in BizarroWorld- she finds a new Jerry, George,and Kramer.  (Kevin, Gene, and Feldman)  That's how I felt.  I'm still shaking my head over the whole encounter.

tummy shot: 12 weeks

Better late than never, so here it is:

12 weeks
Even in the comfy pants there's a bit of a difference, no?

can't sleep- blizzard and anxiety

So, I was a bit skeptical about the "storm of the century", SNOWtorious 2011, two feet of snow with 40 mph winds, but here I sit when I should be sleeping because of said winds.  I always felt that being a weather man was the most perfect job; I mean seriously, what other profession could you go into every day and completely and utterly screw up, like be 100% wrong all of the time, and not get fired?  I have yet to find one besides weatherman.  Hey, it's not their fault when they're wrong; they don't control the weather; things change!  Anyways, I'm wide awake because of the blizzard- and a few things that are on my mind.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I had my first ob appointment and my sequential screening.  I forgot how long I always have to wait at my ob/gyn.  It's been a few years since I had been there, as when I was beginning fertility treatments there really wasn't any need.  My RE took care of yearly pap smears for me, so it worked out.  Well, it was over an hour past my appointment time before my doctor came in.  I was pretty hot about it, but once it was my turn to be seen, it all melted away.  Let me begin by sharing with you that my RE's office failed to fax over any of my prenatals as I was promised they would last Thursday.  I knew the doctor's dictation would take longer, but was assured everything else would be sent.  They lied and received quite the phone call from me as soon as I left the ob.  I did not see Dr. D like I had been scheduled, but rather Dr. F.  I'm fine with either one, really, they are both just wonderful.  Come to find out that they deliver 100% of their babies.  100%.  They have never missed a birth.  Part of the reason for such tardiness was because Dr.D was called to the hospital for a birth, and instead of cancelling all of us ob patients, Dr. F (who was covering gyn yesterday) tried his best to do the work of two men.  Kudos! 

He took sooo much time with me.  I was probably being cursed by everyone else for putting him even more behind schedule, but whatever.  Here are a few things on my mind:
1.  They will not let me work past 24 weeks.  Basically, after spring break in April, I will not be back.  I had really hoped to finish out the year.  It's not a conversation I really want to have with my principal, so it'll be put off for a while. I don't know how this exactly works with FMLA since I've already used some of the time under the act.
2.  They will not let me carry past 37 weeks, so I'll certainly be having a July baby.  My official due date is August 16, but at a minimum it'll be three weeks early (possibly more).
3.  I'm worried about complications.  My blood pressure has been running high lately.  My family doctor saw me on Monday (and will repeat on Friday) and decided to increase my bp meds again.  I'm worried already about preeclampsia.  I'm hoping that by *naming it* and *addressing it*, I'll be *facing it* so it won't happen.  ::sigh:: 
4.  Piggy backing on #3, I had my sequential screening.  I want to know those results already and know that my babies are ok.  Regardless of the findings, these are my two babies, there are no options to consider.  I would not follow up with amniocentesis as my ob explained to me that the risk of miscarriage is 1 in 200, and they'd have to amnio both babies.  I would not put them at that risk. 

My sequential was a bit disappointing, probably because I've had so many transvag ultrasounds with relatively clear, detailed pictures.  This was my first external u/s and the image quality was not what I expected.  If I were a normal patient, I'm sure I'd be thrilled, but let's face it, I'm special needs over here, far from normal.  We did hear both heartbeats, so that was wonderful!!!  We saw both SnuggleBugs, so again- awesome!!  Baby B was the star of the show and did a heck of a job blocking Baby A.  We're going to have a talk about sharing! 

I will be seen by my ob every three weeks for now and every four weeks with the perinatologist.  So, until then, I'm on my own.  Maybe I'm becoming more of a normal patient than I wanted to admit...

I realize this is quite the doozy of a post!  Perhaps I can get some shut eye for a while.  Since it's all written down I no longer need to worry or dwell on it.  I can pick it all back up in the morning, if I so choose.  Or even better, maybe I can let a lot of it go.