tummy shot: 22 weeks

How far along? 22 weeks
Weight gain: about 7 pounds

Maternity clothes? all the time

Stretch marks? still no

Sleep? Lately, it's hit or miss.  Either I sleep like a rock or I'm tossing and turning and uncomfortable all night.  A terrible night's sleep usually leads to total exhaustion the next night, aka sleeping like a rock.

Belly button in or out? still in, although the bottom portion seems to be pulled a little tighter

Movement? I feel both babies every day, but Baby B a bit more still.  We're trying so hard to get Jamie to feel them, but no luck yet.
Cravings? Ehh, nothing right now.

Greta's change in plans

So, Greta was supposed to have limb sparing surgery this past Thursday.  10:30 Wednesday night we cancelled it.  At 8 o'clock that evening I got a phone call from the surgeon.  He wanted to review drop off procedures and the potential risks with me.  Well, he squeezed in the list of risks two new ones!!!  If either occured they would have to do immediate on the spot amputation of her leg.  There would be no way to know until they were past the point of no return and havd cut through muscle, tendon, and bone.  if the cancer had broken through her wrist cartiledge or ife her third metacarpal broke when inserting the screw, they would amputate.  How did this come up for the first f-ing time 12 hours before surgery?  I'm pretty pissed that we wasted an entire week more than necessary to begin her treatments.  If he had told me this the week before, she'd already have gotten the care she needs!

This was never and acceptable option for us.  Dogs carry 60% of their weight on their front legs.  We have a 147 pound girl over here.  There's no way we could do that to her.  That would not have resulted in the quality of life we want to preserve for her.  After lots and lots of tears, we decided that for her sake, we had to cancel it. 

Our new plan includes radiation treatments starting tomorrow.  This will be accompanied by bisphosphorate treatments (basically like that Boniva osteoporosis medicine form women) to strengthen her bones.  I'm hopefully that when Jamie talks to the radiologist tomorrow we can find out if we can incorporate chemotherapy in her treatment plan, too.  Very likely this new plan will not give her as prolonged of a life as the limb sparing and chemo.  With surgery and chemo we were hopefully looking at another 1-2 years potentially.  Radiation should give her (hopefully) about 6 months with much less pain.  We still have to worry about her breaking her wrist.  If that happens, our options would be amputation or saying I love you one last time.  The thought of that makes my heart hurt so much. 

For now, just like when I was gearing up for ivfs and fets, we're doing everything humanly possible to help her, praying our hearts out, and just taking it day by day (and enjoying each moment with our gentle giant).  We'll have more of a clear plan after tomorrow, but tomorrow will certainly be her first round of radiation.  Thoughts and prayers are always appreciated!

a much needed smile

I came across this video on two different blogs (ams8099 and sulfa) before I was pregnant.  I thought it was certainly funny back then, but now that I'm almost 22 weeks along with multiples myself, it gave me a much needed smile as I rewatched the video.  I have already had several parts of this conversation myself, several times, so it rings very true.  Enjoy!

Happy 5th birthday, Greta!

Today is my baby's 5th birthday! 

She's been feeling really good in the last week.  To make a very long story short, here's our plan... Upon the biopsy from last Friday (grrr, don't even get me started on wtf is taking so long) 100% confirming what we think we know, on Thursday the 7th Greta will go in for limb sparing surgery.  Basically they will remove the cancerous section of her right radius (the outside, weight-bearing bone) and replace it with a metal spacer bar.  This will further be supporter by a metal plate running down her wrist, across her paw, and get attached to her 3rd metatarsal.  Her paw will be frozen in place, but her elbow and shoulder will still have full mobility and she gets to keep her leg.  This is a big, big deal surgery with a bunch of potential risks and side effects, but the benefits outweigh the risks.  2 weeks later, Greta will begin chemotherapy so the cancerous cells don't look for a new home now that their tumor is removed.  The biggest place we'll be keeping a close eye on is her lungs.  It can not spread to her lungs (or anywhere else for that matter, but especially not her lungs!)  Every penny of these two extremely expensive procedures will be worth it if it means Greta is not in pain, and has a good quality of life for a longer period of time!  She means more to me and Jamie than words can even begin to describe.  We just know in our hearts that all of this is what's best for her, and we have to give the fight everything we've got.

Earlier in the week, one of the teachers on my team baked Greta a get well doggie cake, with a side of frosting!  Here are a few pics of Greta enjoying it:

tummy shot: 20 weeks

How far along? 20 weeks
Weight gain: about 6 pounds

Maternity clothes? oh yeah- pants for a while now, shirts for the last 2 or 3 weeks

Stretch marks? knock on wood, no

Sleep? I get up a couple of times a night for pee breaks, but otherwise pretty good.

Belly button in or out? still in, although the bottom portion seems to be pulled a little tighter

Movement? yup, Baby B can be felt a little bit easier because of location, but I can feel them both almost every day now
Cravings? I've been on a big chocolate milk kick lately.

my Greta: my 1st baby

Greta is my world.  She has been a faithful loving friend since we brough her home in early June 2006.  She has comforted me, kept me company on countless sleepless nights that were often filled with crying, and brought me joy and happiness that I can't even describe. 

Her 5th birthday is coming up next Saturday, April 2.  On Tuesday, in the morning I noticed she was favoring her right front paw a bit.  Jamie kept an eye on her since he's still home, and we thought maybe she slept funny on it.  Wednesday morning was more of the same.  Thursday morning I was rushing out of the house for a faculty meeting and just gave her a bunch of kisses good bye but didn't even check if she was limping. 

When I got home from school, Jamie told me that she was still limping, so I called the vet to have her seen on Friday.  As we were waiting for dinner to cook, Greta was going to get off of the couch and when she stepped down I could tell it hurt a bit.  Jamie called the vet right back, and they could get her in at 5:30.  We figured it maybe got twisted when she was running or perhaps maybe a touch of arthritis.  Were we ever wrong.

I am so worn out from crying, so here's what happened in a nutshell.  They did an x-ray of her foot.  There are 3 spots in her bone that appear to be osteosarcoma (bone cancer).  It is very aggressive and painful.  Basically, pockets in her bones will become hollowed out, very fragile, and expand into bulges.  We are very hopeful that we caught it early since there were no outward signs of this.  I have been praying to God and Saint Francis for a miracle for my Greta.  Please, dear God, do not have let it spread into more of her bones or lungs.  Please give my Greta a miracle. 

Tomorrow morning, Jamie and I will take our first baby (we got her after just 6 months of marriage) in to be knocked out and have full body x-rays done to see what, if anything, else is going on inside of my angel.  We have an appointment for Tuesday morning with one of the leading veterinary oncologists to see what can be done to make her more comfortable and to prolong a quality life for Greta.  So much just hinges on tomorrow's results.

I fell asleep after 11 and woke up at 12:35.  Jamie was in bed, so I had to sort of sit up to see his alarm clock.  I was a bit out of sorts at first and thought "what a nightmare I just had, Greta has cancer"... only it's a nightmare that is most probably a reality.  My Greta is too young for this.  She should have a few more good years left in her.  She has a big job ahead of her helping me raise babies.  This is not how it's supposed to be.

So, in the last 3 hours I've been up, I dug out most of my scrapbook stuff, including hundreds (yes, literally hundreds- I said she's my whole world, and I've got the photos to prove it) of pictures of Greta from her first year, and spread it out on the nursery floor.  As much as I love to look at finished scrapbooks, with cute paper, pictures, quotes, stickers, and 3D embelllishments, apparently I don't have the dedication to get them done.  I have not finished my wedding one from over 5 years ago, and Greta's baby book/her first year hadn't been started yet.  How could the time have gone this quickly?  It's just not fair. 

We'll see what tomorrow holds for us and for our sweet, gentle giant, and we'll just take it one day at a time.  Words can not begin to express the love that Jamie and I have for Greta.  We'll enjoy each and every moment we have with her and will continue to do what is in her best interest and not make choices based on our selfishness of wanting her to just be here.  If these are in fact the cards we've been dealt, we'll play them the best we can.  She has given us so much and we will not let her suffer in pain.  We will do what we can to make her life the best it can be for the time that we are blessed to have her with us.  I hope and pray that we can end up on the right side of statistics for treatments and be given more time with her, but only if she's up to it.  I desperately want her to meet our babies this summer, but not at her expense.  I need Greta and will be lost without her when that day one day comes.  By the grace of God, I pray it's not for a while.  If you read this and you're the praying type, please pray for her.

Greta on her love seat (taken about a month ago- at the end of February).
We came in through the garage door which is loud, heavy, and about 10 feet away from Sleeping Beauty.
She didn't bat an eyelash!  We stood there watching her for a while.  I went and got my camera, took a few pictures, and finally she opened her gorgeous brown eyes and wagged her tail at us.  "Hey, Mom and Dad!  Where'd you come from?"  She is such a precious gift from God.

nursery- cute bookcases

Last night began my quest for cute bookcases for the nursery.  When Nick and I were growing up we had a red cuckoo clock bookcase.  It was only about 4 feet high and maybe 2 feet or so wide, with 3 shelves.  The shelving part looked like a rectangle and the "clock part" was similar to a triangle on top.  Think of drawing the most basic house- square and triangle, but stretch out the square.  The clock was painted on to the front of the triangle; just adorable.  I would like a cute bookcase for my babies, and Nick has "dibs", if you will, on the cuckoo clock.  Since he's older apparently everything that was ours was really his first.  Maybe my parents will just keep it for all grandbabies to share (it's still loaded with books), who knows.  Hey, if nothing else, it gives me another reason to shop for the SnuggleBugs!  I was initially just thinking of a plain bookcase, that Jamie could paint in a cooridinating color and maybe stencil or throw some decals on.  That still may be the case, but I stumbled across these and my heart leapt.  I'd likely have to wait and see what genders our babies are beforing committing to any of these, but how cute are they?  They are all made by Teamson: